It seems predetermined that I will falter,
I’m a couch potato, not a pole-vaulter.
On my courses I shuttle from tee to tee,
As Melania goes on her spending spree.
While my core support can’t seem to make ends meet,
I’m out there every day screaming “cheat, cheat, cheat.”
You’ve probably seen me smirking and grinning,
I’m just tired of winning, winning, winning.
The truth is I can’t get enough of Don Trump,
Every day I rise above the common chump.
I am condescending, impatient and cruel,
It is obvious that I’m nobody’s fool.
It’s true my attention span is rather short.
And my oil level’s down by a quart.
People hope for a North Korean accord,
While all I can think of is being adored.
Too bad I’m not Catholic, I could be sainted,
Though my background check will show that I’m tainted.