Trump personally taking charge of upgrades to nuclear arsenal

Donald Trump is fed up with the slow pace of change in Washington and has decided to upgrade America’s arsenal himself. He has been working day and night for the last month, going bunker to bunker to perform the technological upgrades needed to bring our weapons into the 21st century. President Trump has undertaken this gargantuan task with no prior training in software,aeronautics or engineering. He is worried that should we need to nuke someone, when he pushes the red button nothing will happen. In his second week of work he mistakenly set off 3 missiles that wiped out life in Harrisburg Pa, Jacksonville Fl. and Oklahoma City OK. “This sure is tricky, he said, I hope that if that happens again those errant misses hit Mitch McConnells house instead of my supporters.”