Trump assures country he is not a racist

Donald Trump appearing at an quickly called press conference this afternoon wanted to assure the american public that he is not a racist. “I loved the Jeffersons and I almost bought a Popeyes once.”  He also tried to calm the rush to judgement about his comments concerning NFL protestors, ‘I am not picking on rich black men who would be in jail or driving a cab if not for football.” “That is a false assumption, I have hired many fine back men to clean my buildings or wash my cars.” When asked why he was appearing in blackface at the press conference, Trump said,” I wanted to send a special signal to all my voters that I sympathize with all black men and respect their god given right to work for any white man they chose.”

4 Comments

on “Trump assures country he is not a racist
4 Comments on “Trump assures country he is not a racist
  1. Dear Thor –

    Here’s what I’ve been thinking:

    Before we were great we were good.
    Before we were great our mothers and “fathers brought forth a new nation dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal”
    That was before we were great.
    Before we were great we welcomed the world, asking for their “tired, their poor, their hungry.”
    That was before we were great.
    Before we were great we “had a dream” and “conducted our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline.”
    That was before we were great.
    Before we were great we “asked not what our country could do for us, but what we could do for our country.”
    But that was then, before we were great.

    Gayle Samuels

    • Even though we made up the quotes to make a satirical point, we think he should be impeached immediately. He is unfit to serve the office he holds. Our only defense at this point is humor and satire.

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