President Trump gunned down Attorney General Jeff Sessions today on the White House lawn. The President had become evermore frustrated with the new Attorney general due to his refusal to interfere in the ongoing Russian investigation. Sessions was visiting the President to try and discuss the presidents recents tweets that insulted and called out the deceased AG. The White House press secretary was expecting this development and released a statement minutes after the shooting. It stated: President Trump was fearful for his life and before Jeff Sessions could pull out his Balisong Knife The President stood his ground and shot the AG. The President immediately pardoned himself and ordered Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch.