Republicans gun nuts are tying themselves in knots to excuse latest shooting!

Another 17 children are gunned down in a school and Republican gun nuts are pulling out all the typical lame excuses, while inventing some new ones to deflect the blame of being in the NRA’s pocket. “It’s not the guns, it’s mental illness.” “It’s too early to discuss gun control.” “Guns don’t kill, people do.” “We need to enforce existing laws better.” And some new excuses being put to the test. “Banning assault rifles won’t reduce gun violence.” M-13 gangs are to blame.” “The shooter was a liberal created by Hillary Clinton.” The simple answer is to vote out the corrupt and Republican’s and replace them with responsible representatives that will do something about gun control. Enough children have died, it is time to do something!


Jennie Willoughby: ‘President Trump Will Not Diminish My Truth’

Once again President Trump has sided with an accused wife beater and abuser. This comes as no surprise to anyone who has followed the politics of the Republican party or Donald Trump. According to them, women are not to be believed and they probably deserved what they got! This is not just a Donald Trump issue, but a Republican one. Orin Hatche’s hometown paper published an editorial bashing the senator for his support of Rob Porter, the accused abuser. The Republican party is waking up a powerful sleeping giant by treating women as subpar humans. They hold the keys to the upcoming election and most women we know are horrified by Donald Trump and the Republican party. Jean Willoughby, Rob Porters ex wrote a wonderful piece for Time, please take the time to read it.

Trump declares the DOW JONES is treasonous, saves us all!

After the Dow Crashed Monday, setting the worst point decline in history, the President declared that it was treasonous…just like the the Democrats. Fearing that it would be arrested and prosecuted the DOW came back on Tuesday and gained 565 points! Once again Donald Trump has saved the world and the American economy. Late on Tuesday Trump signed an executive order that will make it mandatory that Democrats and anyone making under 4 billion dollars a year to applaud every time Donald Trump says anything. We anticipate that the President will call winter Treasonous on Wednesday, so bring your sun screen to work.

In effort to improve midterm chances Republican’s recruit a Nazi!

Republican’s are becoming increasingly concerned about being sweep out of office in the 2018 mid-terms. After careful consideration the Republicans have recruited Art Jones a holocaust denier and former head of the nazi party to run for Illinois 3rd Congressional District. This bold move continues to build on the Republican strategy of selecting strong local candidates with local support to run for office. Mitch McConnell feels that Roy Moore lost because he wasn’t racist enough for the American electorate. Mitch said; “Art’s Candidacy falls right in line with the Trump administrations move towards total autocracy, and he has his own Nazi uniform so it is a win-win situation for everyone.” 


New Jersey Senator Doherty very sorry he is a white man

Trump cheerleader and bigot Mike Doherty, is fed up with this whole gender pay equality thing. Talking with fellow NJ colleagues he said “Just because I’m a member of a certain group doesn’t mean that I can be denigrated over and over again,” Doherty said. “It’s got to stop at some point.” He is sick of being a victim and why should women get the same rights that he does as a man? He is also a bigot in support of Trumps immigration policy that would end immigration from certain countries.  Doherty said; ‘The US should not take more immigrants form non-European’ nations that are not part of a ‘Judeo-Christian culture,’” Wow, a bigot and a racist! New Jersey needs to take special note of this terrible person and make sure he doesn’t survive his next election.

Frelinghuysen to retire before he is crushed in mid-terms!

Donald Trump is so toxic that more and more Republicans are deciding to retire before the 2018 mid-terms. Rodney Frelinghuysen had worn out any welcome he may have had in New Jersey and decided the better part of valor was to run and hide. If you had any doubts that protesting the Republicans isn’t effective, put a check next to Frelinghuysen’s name. He was facing a tough re-election battle and was having trouble raising funds. Protestors were everywhere and it is only January. Keep up the good work New Jersey, keep fighting and we will keep winning.

Fox news totally convinced me that we should love trump!

Guy Short, an opinion writer for Fox News, just penned a new piece that shatters my concept of reality. The entire premise of his piece, written to a 4th grade level, is that we should love Trump because…THE ECONOMY!!! Don’t even think about voting for Democrats in the midterms because, it will destroy the economy that Trump has built with his tiny small hands. He solidifies his logic by stating that if democrats get elected they will impeach Trump and their goes the economy! This mind blowing opinion piece has probably swung the mid-terms already as we guess that many democratic candidates have dropped out based on his brilliant logic. The amazing thing is he was able to expand this dismal logic into 21 paragraphs of pure drivel. We are excitedly awaiting his next piece and the twisted logic that Fox News applies to everything Donald Trump.

Religious Right waves all commandments for Donald Trump

Evangelicals and Religious Right leaders have decreed that the 10 commandments do not apply to President Trump. They have decided after much prayer that the Commandments only inhibit the Presidents ability to make sound decisions for the American people. They feel he should be able to smite his enemies (like abortion rights activists)  when they disagree with his sound logic. Evangelical, Pat Robertson further explained, “If the president accidentally tortures and kills a prostitute he should not be held accountable like a normal person.” Also, should he nuke a country like North Korea and kill millions of people, he is only doing God’s work…they are heathens and deserve what they get.” Tony Perkins added, “Please send your generous donations. We are going to build the biggest golden statue ever seen to honor our beloved president.”

Republican’s plan to blame Betty Sloan for government shutdown

Republican’s have been scrambling to get enough votes to keep the government open past Friday. Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell were planning on blaming the Democrats for the pending shutdown but voters were not buying their logic since Republicans control every branch of the government. Mitch McConnell in a moment of brilliance decided to blame Betty Sloan of Detroit Michigan for failing to pass a budget that Donald Trump would sign. Betty, a former office manager for a small plumbing contractor found out the bad news late this afternoon. She was devastated and said,” I feel terrible, my husband just passed away and how will I explain to my grandchildren that I couldn’t pass a short term spending bill.” Mitch and Paul shook their heads and indicated Betty will have to deal with voters rage if the government shuts down.

Chris Christie moves onto next phase of his career

As newly elected Governor Phil Murphy was being sworn in, Chris Christie announced his next career move.  He is taking over the assistant manager position at McDonald’s on route 46 in Pine Brook. He is very excited about this new position and is looking forward to not telling customers to shut up! “This is a new me, he announced, I am going to get along with the staff and learn to not yell at people.” His new boss Kushwanti Singhnobi has much praise for his new assistant manager. “He is a very hard worker and smiles all the time. The hardest part for him is not tasting all the french fries before bagging the food… but he is learning.” Chris is looking forward to serving President Trump if he ever comes into his establishment. “I have a bottle of special sauce that I am saving for the President, Christie said, I mixed it myself, sort of a way to say THANK YOU, Mr. President.


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