It’s a big day for Paul Ryan. He finally has put into motion his greatest, grandest, most special dream ever…screwing the middle class and poor. Ever since he first read Ayn Rand he knew what his special purpose in life was helping corporations. These soulless monoliths represented everything good and pure to Paul Ryan, now he is one step closer to realizing his dream.This is nothing more than a giant tax cut for corporations and rich 1%’s on the backs of the working class. We can only hope that this is the final nail in the Republican coffin. Imagine what the Democrats will do with this club in 2018 to Republicans seeking re-election. You should look for your rubber boots because we think it will be a blood bath.
Sean Hannity’s super smart fans have gone on a rampage smashing Keurig coffee makers. His supporters became enraged because Keurig withdrew its ads after Sean Hannity supported accused child molester Roy Moore. In one of the dumbest moments of the 21st century, these morons blew up, smashed and destroyed the coffee makers that they had paid for with their hard earned welfare checks. As one TV commentator suggested, “The cheese has slid off the cracker.” At this point the evidence against Moore is so strong his own party has turned against him and Hannity has appealed to his fans to stop. I think they just like smashing small appliances because the rampage against Keurig goes on. If this trend continues and sensible gun legislation is eventually passed, will they shoot off their own toes to protest? Thor thinks is is possible.
We want to call attention to this great article by: Joy-Ann Reid. This is an excerpt: The future belongs to the survivors of Trumpism, not to its proponents. Like it or not, the past is shrinking into the distance, and the Obama generation is coming back, whether the bitter third likes it or not. The Trumpists—who cling to their doomed, dirty coal mines and their guns and their grievances, and their dreams of a wall to keep the brown people out—cannot inherit the future. The future belongs to those who embrace modernity, not those who cling to the past. It belongs to those who pick up all they have and move across land and oceans; whether it’s the immigrant or the internal migrant who traverses the country in search of a better life. Read Whole Article
“What is wrong with them?” god boomed and shook the heavens. “Do they think I am stupid?” god seemed to be having a rough day after the latest mass shooting in Texas. “Prayers aren’t going to do anything to stop this insanity, thats why I gave men and women the ability to self determine.” “We are getting a little crowded up here because these asshole republicans are in the pockets of greedy gun manufactures run by satan’s son.” “It’s simple, he said to Jesus, sensible gun laws will stop this once and for all!” “Send another hurricane at Texas, god commanded!”
He has been waiting all his life, ever since he was a teenager to high five corporate America.” This has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and first read Ayn Rand. Putting it to middle America, and rewarding corporations is my happy spot!” Ryan professes that this is just what corporations need to put their boots on the necks of everyday Americans. He is sick of these whinny families wanting free benefits from businesses and corporations , so they can have a “better” life. “My feet have not touched the ground since I dotted the last i on the tax reform bill, this is just too good to be true.” Ryan cannot wait to see the faces of the middle class families he is screwing. And he gets to cut medicare and other social services and balloon the debt at the same time. “Who says that dreams cannot come true in America.”
Standing on a dark street corner Ricky “oops” Perry was shilling for big oil. We watched him as he worked a new customer, ” Hey baby, you can’t believe what this stuff can do, only source of dependable energy,” he smoothly intoned.” Their’s nothing like raw crude, the babes can’t resist the smell and your wife will go crazy!” He twirled his giant gold chain and added, “yes it’s true…no more rape. When the lights are on nobody wants to rape you. Fossil fuels are the answer to ending sexual assault, I know because I can’t do it with the lights on.” After they exchanged a wad of cash he loaded four 100 gallon drums into the trunk of the car and banged the hood. “When that runs out, you know where to find me babbbbyyy.” Another car pulled up and Ricky started his routine again, it was going to be another busy night.
We were really worried that all that science stuff about CO2 and carbon footprints was going to confuse the EPA. Well, Scott Pruitt talked to his buddies at the oil and coal companies and they suggested that EPA scientists should not have a say at the EPA. They told him that it is a conflict of interest to have a scientist that works for the EPA to actually make recommendations about science and our environment. Whew!!! that was close! We almost had a thoughtful scientific approach to how the EPA monitors and regulates the energy companies. Instead Scott is reaching out to the lord, who has been advising him about the best way for the energy companies to make tons of money. Now we know that the energy companies have always had our best interests at heart, and will really take care of our environment.Thank the lord and Scott Pruitt, who needs science!
After being arraigned on all 12 charges this morning, including conspiracy against the US Government, Manafort clicked his heels together, took off his Russian uniform and got fingerprinted. His lawyers do not understand what all the hoopla is about. “A little money laundering, playing a role in an attempted government over throw, filing false tax returns and taking payments from a foreign government is just normal day in the Trump government”. “Besides it’s all fake news, this isn’t real, especially the handcuffs.” His lawyer added,” We have been saying for over a year that Hillary is the real guilty party, Benghazi, emails, pizza gate, she should be in hand cuffs, not my client.” Just then, as the words Benghazi were uttered, Trey Goudy appeared in a cloud of smoke demanding that we lock up Hillary, once and for all…Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi!
Bill O’Reilly came out swinging at the New York Times and Thor today. He Screamed “How can you support the fake media, look at what they have done to my lovely career!” “I had it all, I was a ratings juggernaut until The NYT’s published that article about that small mistake with 20 or so women.” Tears were running down his face, ” I was just kidding, having fun, the women loved the attention and they loved being groped…who wouldn’t?” He had spit coming out of his mouth as he yelled,”Then that little nasty blog, Thor, started doing those Gas Bag cartoons and making fun of me, who do they think they are?” “I never thought they would last this long, what is wrong with you people?”
Donald Trump was right! He said; “that we are going to get so tried of winning!” When does it start? We don’t want to miss it! Everyday, it seems that he takes the discourse lower and lower. Making excuses, lying, blaming others and insulting his cabinet. Nothing is too low for our president, even insulting Gold Star mothers. Quite frankly, we do want to win. Instead we seem to heading back in time as he undoes everything this country stands for. We can only hope that Robert Mueller’s investigation reveals what we all suspect and the entire administration is thrown out and into jail. In the meantime enjoy all the winning.