What Keeps President Trump Up All Night?


Could it be those obligatory two scoops of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce wreaking havoc on his royal innards?  Is it concern over the lives of US servicemen and women now on active duty in 19 countries, advising and fighting ISIL, Boko Haram, the Taliban or the many iterations of the same desperate ideology?  Is he stewing over Syria?  Wondering if collusion should be spelled the Russian way with a “k”?  Is he searching for ways to cancel the “protection” part of the Consumer Protection Agency, pollute a little more without the EPA’s knowledge, pardon another racist, wondering if his 82nd golf game (since he’s been President) will be rained out or is he just searching for another mountaintop to peak?

There is no doubt that he is an over-achiever and not a tweet goes by without reminding his 47 million tweetettes how lucky they are to have him.   During the campaign he claimed to have been on the cover of Time Magazine more than any other person in history.  Wrong. 

Nixon 55

Reagan 39

Clinton 35

Obama 23

Trump 14

But to Trump, being a Time Magazine cover boy is still a real measure of success even though he calls it a fake news publication.  Go figure.   Last week Trump claimed that, “Time Magazine called to say I was PROBABLY going to be named Man [Person] of The Year, like last year.  But I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot.  I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway.”

Time immediately tweeted back, “The President is incorrect about how we choose Person of the Year.  Time does not comment on our choice until publication, which is Dec. 6.  Then Time’s chief content officer Alan Murray put out a more strongly worded tweet saying the President’s words were “amazing.  Not a speck of truth here.”

So desperate for another cover, Trump fabricated a fake Time cover with his photo and a self-aggrandizing headline about his TV show.  Every member and visitor to his golf courses have seen the framed counterfeit cover on the walls of his clubhouses—it’s a photo of an imposter on a forgery.  What Trump doesn’t realize is that being named Person of the Year would put him in the company of Nazi sympathizer Charles Lindbergh, Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Ayatollah Khomeini.  You see, it is not always good to be named Person of the Year.

Ssssuushhh, don’t tell him.