Donald’s Real Russian Connection

Donald Trump’s new book on the Russian Tsars


Agents are breaking off,

Rounding up the Romanovs.

They found that the President’s aphasia,

Was linked to Grand Duchess Anastasia.


When they found him dressed as a royal Russian,

The Trump team commenced a policy discussion.

His alternative reality allows things so wild,

Imagine, Donald is Tsar Nicholas’ missing child!


The White House sofa is covered in chintz,

The better to cover the stains from blintz.

The foods the President’s chef has sourced,

Is chicken Kiev and red beet borscht.


In sorting through Donald’s archives,

We locate his three Slavic wives.

I know it is a very high bar,

Could Donald be the missing Tsar?


He is delirious,

And acts imperious.

He’s again making the country great,

Like his ancestor Peter the Great.


Russian blood runs through his vein,

None however reached his brain. 

His behavior is so hifalutin,

Like Tsarina’s friend Grigori Rasputin.


The Russian connection is in his blood,

When you examine this small-handed stud.

He denies all science, even Isaac Newton,

But dreams of bedding Vladimir Putin.




The White Russian have resurfaced

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