Donald’s Diary – 12/01/2017


A look into the President Trump’s secret thoughts.

Dec. 1, 2017—

314 down; 1,145 to go.  What did I do to deserve this?  I only said what the people wanted to hear.  Where’s the lie?  I’m so f**king tired of the fake media calling me a liar.  I’m the goddamned President of the United States.  Just stick it!  Look, I can assure anyone that I was more shocked than Crooked Hillary.  She should be sitting in this dump instead of me.  I would be showering under gold fixtures in Trump Tower.  Who knew they were so stupid to vote for me.   I should be doing deals.  Instead I’m pardoning turkeys.  In 300 days I’ve only played golf 82 times.  My game is suffering.  

Speaking of handicaps, I’m dumping Rex.  Too much competition; he acts and looks presidential.  Sad, but so long Tex!  Go play with your oil.  You’re toast.  You’ re “ex” like Ex-xon.  All I can say-o, is Mike Pompeo.  Jeez I’m good.  He passed my test–the Trump test.  He doesn’t like Muslims and Liberals.  He’s tough and he likes to punish.  He likes GITMO.  We’re so alike and we get along great.  He really, really likes and respects me.  He’s a winner.  Gotta lean on Tillerson more, squeeze him, get him to walk.  This is getting old.  Outtahere Rex—you moron.  

Ivanka’s really pissed me off about this Roy Moore thing.  So what if he conned a 14-year old into some forest play.  That’s what men do.  Get over it.  I need every vote on the greatest tax cut of all time.  I’m the Barnum and Bailey of tax cuts.  Trump is the Greatest Show on Earth.  Jeez, I like that.  I’m good.  I’m a promoter and a deal maker.  No one makes deals like me.  People think I’m complicated.  Wrong!  You get what you see.  There’s less here than you think.  Not complicated.  Simple.  Yup, I’m really, really simple.

President Donny